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Top parenting stories this week
Surviving Toddler Power Struggles
How to end the arguing and prevent a full-blown tantrum with your toddler
by: Sharon Silver
In This Article
Toddler Power Struggles
- Power struggles are how children push the envelope so they can learn boundaries in different situations.
- When you increase the intensity of your reaction to stop a power struggle, it can be scary for your child.
- You can back out of a power struggle and prevent a total tantrum by simply going silent for 10 to 60 seconds.
- Your silence captures your child's attention and shows him that you're calm and in control.
- As long as the silence isn't punitive, it quickly becomes more powerful than arguing.
t can happen anywhere, at anytime–your child wants something and you say "no." Before you know it, the arguing and negotiating have ramped up and you're in the middle of a power struggle. Fortunately, there is a fast way to fix the situation before the real tantrums begin. Here's what you need to know.
Why the battle of wills begins in the first place
Power struggles are an inevitable part of a child's development and are how children push the envelope so they can learn the boundaries in different situations. Power struggles happen because a child has hit the end of his rope verbally, physically or emotionally and isn't mature enough to know how to handle his big feelings and express himself respectfully at the same time, not yet. So he uses arguing as his method of communication.
