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Losing Warren

Monday, September 26th, 2011 by:

My husband and I had purchased a house four days after Kyla was born. And–NO–in case you’re wondering it is not a good idea to buy a home when you’ve just had a newborn. Packing and preparing for a move all while nursing a newborn every two hours was stressful. How much can you accomplish when you have to stop, nurse, change and play with your baby every hour or two? Half the time I could not remember where I left off when I returned to packing. I was also still recovering from my C-section so moving around in general was slow and painful.

After we moved, however, I didn’t feel any more relaxed. Another major stress was hanging over my head. My brother Warren was dying.

Warren had been off work since November 2007, when he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. In a small blessing, my maternity leave gave me the time to spend with him before he passed away in September 2008. I was able to share my new baby with him and spend precious time with him.

Ironically, Warren’s diagnosis came the day after I told him I was pregnant. I had six months left in my pregnancy and he was given six months to live.

Warren fought hard and thankfully I was able to share my precious little girl with him. I remember the first time he met Kyla. Warren held her and kissed her and told her silly stories about me as a little girl, it was both beautiful and heart breaking. Warren and I spent our visits talking and reminiscing about our childhood laughing and joking with each other, we would also talk about the fun our kids would have growing up together. Warren had a son James with his wife Christine the year before.

I had to remain strong and hopeful during our visits. Warren had such a positive attitude about his recovery that I did not want to show him any negative emotion. Throughout his entire illness, he (and our family) never gave up hope that he would recover and beat cancer. When Warren died, I realized I wanted my life to change. I wanted more time to spend with the people I cared about. I revaluated my plans and decided to take the full year of maternity leave.

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